Appeasment

Standard
Appeasment

Appeasement:  The action or process of appeasing.   Always wanting to please other people.  Your loyalty is on whether others are happy.

Growing up we are taught how to please other people.  Make the happy or content by doing what is asked of us.  This is started when we are little and our parents work on getting us to eat.  Then it is with us cleaning our room.  Then it goes to doing house work.  For me it was having to watch my younger brother all the time.

Then we start school and the teachers want us to pay attention, do our work.  Than the kids in the school are asking something different of you.  For some people there was never a time when you get to choice what you would like to do.  I think that in schools today it is even worst than when I was in school.  Gone are the days of school and learning to think.  The days of doing what I say when I say are here.

I know for school and home was not about learning to navigate this world and learn to think.  It was more about do what I say make me happy and you will be happy.  Well as I get older I am finding out that is really not true.  For  me doing what others what all the time does not make me happy.  I am happier when I get to be free choose what I want to do and be ok with what I make.

I have seen this in many areas of my life.  I was in a store and someone returned a cook rip roast that they had cooked up for Christmas dinner and because it was tuff they thought it had to have been the meat and returned about.  Than another time I was there and someone left some ham in there car and it went bad you could tell that it was left out of the fridge for the plastic around the ham filled up with air.  Returned it for full exchange.  What happened to the days when people where made responsible for their own actions.   We have created a society that is afraid to hurt another person feelings.

 

Appeasement should not be about pleasing others it is about pleasing yourself so you can serve others.

 

 

 

Apathy

Standard
Apathy

Apathy:  Lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern: You choose not to finish something even though you know that you need to.

I have seen this one many times within my childhood.  I think this is why I am so determined to get things done.  Growing up if I had an issue with my older brother and would talk to my mother it would not go any further it was like she was the keeper of all knowledge and did not do anything with it.

I see this a lot in our children today.  It is almost like they don’t care what is happening to them or what is going on in their life.  I remember my grandmother talking about how she never looks less than her best even if she is planning on staying home for the day.  She would get up get ready for the day.

Kids today and some in my generation where not taught to take of them self’s the way we need to.  I remember I always had to have short hair when I was younger for instead of my mom learning on to brush think curly hair she would have me have the pixy cut so she would not have to deal with it.

I think we are creating a generation of children and young adults who really don’t care about much.  For even with the school it is the parents who gets into trouble if the child is not doing the home work and there is no real consequence for them to want to complete their work.

I was raised with the idea that you cant change what is happening to you.  I have always known that this is not true.  I have worked really hard at teaching this to my children that they are responsible for their chooses and what is happening to them.

Start a daily routine that helps you feel good about yourself for when we feel good about who we are than we will put more effort into what we do.

  1. Create a daily routine.
  2. Make the commitment to follow this through.
  3. Keep a journal so you can write down anything you feel works or not working.

Michelle Robin

Spiritual U

 

 

Anger

Standard
Anger

Anger:  A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.  You are easily to get upset. You take it out on the people who care about you the most.

Anger is an emotion that can either be used for the good in which it helps us make changes that we need to make to better or life.  Anger is most often used as a defense against others to show them how easily we get frustrated and mad.

This is one I grow up with a lot.  I saw my dad and brother fight all the time over the little things.  My older brother would get mad and go into my room and throw my things around and break them.  If I did not do his house would I would get kicked and hit all the time.  I remember one time I got thrown into a window at our home and it broke.  Our parents never question what happened.  It was like they really did not care.

I seems like anger was the one emotion that was a loud in the house growing up.  My mother would get mad at the little thing and take it out on the person who was there and not who did.  This really taught my that it did not mater if you did it our not in life it would always be your fault.  I have carried that with me many times through out my adult life.

I even brought this one into my adult hood with the man I married and how easily he got mad.  Something would go wrong at would and he would take it out at home.  To protect the kids from him getting mad at them for being a child I would create an argument with him to get his mind of what they just did.  I really did this a lot.

Ways to remove anger from your life.

  1. Do something that is relaxing for you.
  2. Keep a journal with you and write down what is going on when you get angry.
  3. Recognize you emotions and feelings.  Honor them for what they are remember not all emotions are for everyone to see.
  4. Start to recognize some of your triggered points.  Is this something that builds during the day or is it one incident that happens over and over again.
  5. Work on forgiving yourself and than others.  Remember everything starts at home.
  6. See the love in what is going on.  Sometimes it is our own filter because of what we saw growing up.

Anger can be healthy if it helps you make changes to better your life.  For example this last year has been the worst in my life for financial income.  No matter what I did it almost seemed like it was working against me.  I came to realize I was working with a contract with another soul during this life time.  That soul does not understand what is really going on so I got mad decided to cancel the contract and pull the cords connecting me and that person so I can move forward with the life I am meant to have.

Michelle Robin

Spiritual U

Aloholism

Standard
Aloholism

Alcoholism:  An addiction to the consumption of alcoholic liquor or the mental illness and compulsive behavior resulting from alcohol dependency.   You get home from work and have a drink. You don’t know when to stop. You can’t stop at just one.

This is one that has not been in my life for long.  I have seen more of the side effects than experience them for myself.  I was told that my grandfather had an issue with alcohol when he first got back from serving in WWII I am sure that there was many people who where looking for a way to forget all that they saw and did while there.

I can see that there is a difference in my dad and his siblings depending on what was going on in the house at that time.  My dad and some of the older siblings would have a beer or two or three and not think not much of it.  The younger of the siblings mind you there are eight don’t drink that much if at all.  I don’t think I have seen the younger ones drink I would think they do it is just they know how to handle it and not let it control them.  For many years I would not drink because of what I saw in my family.

There are a few different behaviors that would come with drinking.  Drinking does change who you are at that moment in time.  Some are quite, some are loud, some net mean, and you could even have a combination of a couple of these.

Alcoholism can do some damage and it changes the DNA with the person drinking and who is around them at the time.  If the person who is drinking becomes mean and toxic than if there are any children around than that child will become someone who they where not meant to be and will have to work at getting back to who there where to be.  If they don’t see what is going on they will pass some of the stuff down to their children and it will effect them and change them into someone who they where not meant to be.

All it takes is one person to wake up and notice what is going on and make changes for them and their family to have a different DNA soul structure.  For I saw the after effects of someone drinking the father who was a bully and very short tempered with everyone.  The uncle in a wheel chair from drinking and driving.  These will forever change people.

 

Adultery

Standard
Adultery

Adultery:  Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse: Having a relationship with someone who is not your spouse.

Most people think that adultery is having sex with another people who is not your spouse.  In my experience that is not always the case.  There is another one that most people don’t talk about for they don’t feel it would be considered cheating and that is emotional cheating.

Emotional cheating is disconnecting to you spouse and connecting to someone else to give you what you need emotional that you feel you would or could not be getting from you spouse.  It felt like everything changed over night but looking back at things it really did not.  For I am not sure if the we were ever really emotionally connect to each other in the way lovers need to be.

As I look back into the relationship  I always felt like the other women with him.  It seemed like he was able to connect with other women in the neighborhood easier than with me.  There was many times I was envy of these women for I wanted the attention from him that they were getting.  I kept on telling myself that it was not a big deal for he was going home with me.

I guess I always new he had the grass is greener on the other side.  Not wanting to do the work to have the grass green on his side.  Needed the easy way out of everything.

I know I contribute to this by not feeling secure within myself to know what I deserve and will except.  So when he finally gave his heart away to someone else while we where still married it really did not surprise me at all.  I think I knew inside that it was just going to be a matter of time before he left.

I know now looking back this all comes from my childhood in the fact that when your parents will not attach to you emotionally why would you think anyone else would during your life time.

Sexual adultery is one that I have not experience in this life time.  From what I know and have seen from others that have experience it some think grass is greener on the other side and others are very self centered.  For they don’t think they are going to get caught our they have lack of respect for themselves and others.

  1. Know you are worth loving.  You do this by loving yourself first.
  2. Keep a journal and write down and emotions and feels that come up.  Make sure you honor them.
  3. Treat yourself with kindness.
  4. Connect with yourself.

Michelle Robin

Spiritual U

 

 

Addiction

Standard
Addiction

Addictions:  The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.   Having too much of one thing in your life. Could be addicted to exercise, too much food.

This one has shown up in my life several times in many different forms.  The reason is always the same.  To escape my life and what is going on.  To have that instant gratification of a little pleasure within my life.

Stated out with food.  This has been one that keeps on coming around within my life.  It helps me feel good for a short time.  It never does last long.  Only as long as the nutrients stay within my body, and the feeling of being full is there.  This can change from day to day and minute to minute.  We all like to have the feeling of being full and safe.

I know I got this one growing up.  Food was a substitute for emotions and talking.  I also had food allergies as a child and parents where not aware of them I am still trying to figure out how they did not know there where several time I tried to make it to the bathroom at night to get sick as a child and did not make it.  Got sick on the stairs on the way down.

I learned that the only foods I could really eat was breads and dairy was the only thing I knew I would not get sick from.  Little did I know then as a child that is what would create the issues I have with food today as an adult.

The next addiction was smoking and yes for those who know me now I did smoke at one time in my life.  I started around the age of 16.  Needing to fit into with a group of kids.  I smoke for a total of eight years.  I was 23 when I decided to quite for I wanted to have kids and not have them in a smoking environment.  Once I realized why I started smoking work on those emotions I was able to quite.  It take some time for me to want to be around people who smoke.  Today I have friends who smoke and it does not bother me.  For we all have choices.

Alcohol is one that everyone is familiar with.  One that can cause a lot of issues within a house hold and people now what the issue is but no one wants to say.  I never had to get drunk on all the time but there where times in my life when I needed to have that drink after work before I could deal with my husband.  I had that drink after my kids went to bed during the time we had together.

Now we move up today day and age with computers.  There are more and more people finding companion in the internet instead of talking to people face to face.  People are using the internet as a false since of connection to life and people.  People are starting to spend their time playing video games whether on a game system or on the computer.

The one thing these thing all have in common is being able to escape your life and what is going on in the moment.  Not wanting to deal with what is going on in hope that is will just go away.  It has been my experience things just don’t go away until you take care of it.

The fasted way to change these behaviors is to change you.  What I am talking about if you smoke and are wanting to stop.  You may need to not hang out with friends who smoke until you are able to deal and handle being around the smoke without craving them.  So instead of hanging out talk to them on the phone.  Keeping the friendship is important.

  1. Make a plan to quite
  2. completely change your routine
  3. hang out with people who do what you want to see in your life
  4. Talk to those people who promote what you want to see change on the phone only easily to deal with if you are not watching them.
  5. Keep a journal and write down any emotions and feelings that come up honor them all.
Affirmation:
I love myself and only do what is healthy for my body and soul.
Michelle Robin
Spiritual U

Abuse

Standard
Abuse

Abuse:  Treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly: Either you are the one forcing your well on other people using physical or emotional abuse.

Abuse the subjects that everyone know about but yet no one wants to talk about.  This is one that is sweep under the rug more times then most others.  This is also a vague topic that includes many different areas of abuse.  I will be talking about all of them mental abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse.  Then the one most people don’t think is in this area for abuse is neglect.

Growing up and having a parent ask you everyday what good are you for says a lot to a child.  Or you are an emotional child and always told to go to your room and that no one wants to hear it.  Mental abuse is the hardest to get through for it happens over a long period of time and very slowing.  It attacks the part of you that you really need to be a contributing adult to society.  This hurts or self worth, or self esteem.  With mental abuse kids are really quite afraid if they say the wrong thing people will get made at them and tell them how stupid they are.

Physical abuse is one that can be seen in many ways.  From burses on the body.  To someone being timid and with drawn when people get made and angry around them.  I was the punching bag of my older brother a lot growing up.  There was many times when I would not wear shorts because I would have bruises all over my legs.  My parents just chucked it up as I bruise really easy.  They never really asked.  I never told for I was not worth listening with them I learned that when I was 4.

Sexual abuse is one people don’t like to see happen but when it does no one knows how to act what to say or even how to help.  I know this is the reason why I have put on weight and have not been able to fully release it.  For I have started to let it go a few times and each time something happens.  The first was when I was a child.  I was molested my a family member one I lived with.  Than I was around 10 and watching another family members kids when he came out wearing a rope and underwear that had holes in it.  This was the last time I watched his kids.  I least I was hopping so.  I did not want to go back there but I was not able to tell my parents what had happened to me by any one of the family members for I was just an emotional child and nobody wanted to listen to me.

Physical and sexual abuse if you get the right help you can get through faster for you know when it happened who did it.  Sometimes it is just trying to figure out why they did it is the problem.

Neglect the one that is unseen and people don’t realize that it is really in the abuse category.  I had learned early on that if my parents where getting after me I did something wrong.  Never really had many good times with them.  There are some with my dad before I turned 8.  I was still second in line to my older brother.  I learned early on that if I wanted to do what I wanted to stay under the radar of my parents and my older brother for some reason he was god within the house hold at least to my mother.

Emotional and neglect have been the hardest to get through for it happened over a series of years and it was words not people say are nothing but words do more long term damage then a bruise.

You put these together in one soul within one life time and you create a soul that does not trust anyone and yet does not think they are worthy of having what their hearts truly desire.  This does create a battle within that soul.  One that is fought everyday.  To get through this there are a few things you can do.

  1. Need to morn the lost of your inner child.  Once we do this we can morn the lost of our childhood.
  2. Start to love ourselves the way we want other people to love us.  This will allow the universe to send people into your life who can love in you that way.
  3. Honor your emotions and feelings when they come up.
  4. See trust in everyone whether it is for the good or not.  There are several people I trust to act a way around me that I don’t like so I choose not to have contact with them.

When those emotions start to show up write them down.  Take notice what is going on around you, and how you are feeling.  This will help you identify some trigger points for these emotions and feelings.

Michelle Robin

Spiritual U

970634_10153977981559750_7098135691293059258_n